Back on the wagon....

Well, I made a decision again this week, and have chosen tomorrow to be the starting point....again. I have been off the low carb wagon for so long this time; and my weight shows it! It seems like everytime I start low-carbing in the past five years, I stop after a few weeks. Emotionality (is that really a word?) is part of the reason. I am an emotional eater, and lowcarb chocolate doesn't do for me what real chocolate does. Neither does cauliflower smash as substitute for buttery mashed potatoes, or pork rinds in lieu of crispy potato chips. Regardless, I need to do this....for me, for my health, for my mental stability.
I bought a new laptop last Tuesday and it has a webcam on it. I turned it on while at work Friday night and this ugly, fat woman stared back. Yuck!!! I can't believe what I have evolved to in the past five years. I logged onto my myspace account and found the picture of me in 2003, and 2007, and wanted to cry. In 2003 I had reached my goal of 160 from 300 lb., and in 2007 I was back up to 210. Now, a hundred pounds more, and well.....
Here I am sitting here at work again, with a definitive start date of january 12. I considered joining a lowcarb forum, but really don't have time to be social and respond on a regular basis, to others' posts. No, I am not being mean, just realistic. I am married, with two children still at home, a three-yo granddaughter who visits regularly so dad (my son) can work, a more than full time job as a residential manager, and a cake decorating business on the side. Time for me is at a minimum, and when I do have time I want to be able to ramble about what I want, or need, to ramble about.